The Challenges of Expat Life as a Vietnamese Adoptee

Living between two cultures, one heart, and one identity in search of its roots.

Introduction

Moving abroad is always an adventure—but what happens when your destination is also your birthplace? For Vietnamese adoptees returning to Vietnam, expatriation isn't just about adapting to a new country; it’s about reconciling two identities that have long lived apart. This is my story, and maybe yours too. Like many expats and people living overseas, I embarked on a journey to rediscover my home-country and build a new life abroad. Living in a foreign country can bring clarity—and unexpected emotional turbulence.

Growing Up Vietnamese… in France

Born in Vietnam and raised in Bordeaux by a loving French family, I had everything—except answers. I knew I was Vietnamese. I looked Vietnamese. But I didn’t feel it. Like many adoptees and expatriates, I struggled with a quiet question: Who would I have been if I had stayed? Many expats, retirees, and people who have lived abroad for years share this sense of cultural dislocation. Some countries make it easier than others to live overseas, but the internal journey remains complex. Whether moving to France, Germany, Switzerland, the UAE, Spain, Australia, or other countries, the emotional challenge is universal.

Why I Chose to Return to Vietnam

Two years ago, I took a leap of faith. I packed my bags, left France behind, and moved to Vietnam—not as a tourist, but as a returning child of the land. I didn’t expect the emotional storm that followed. Relocating to a foreign country brings excitement and uncertainty, especially for adoptees navigating questions of nationality, citizenship, and identity. Whether you move overseas to work abroad, retire, study-abroad, or explore, it always comes with challenges—from managing medical insurance, travel insurance, and paperwork to finding places to live and opening a bank account. For some, it's a chance to teach English or join multinational assignments. For others, it's about finding themselves again. British expats and expatriate workers globally face many of the same obstacles, whether seeking a work permit, green-card, or consulate support.

The Expatriate Experience With a Layer of Identity Crisis

Living in Vietnam as a Vietnamese adoptee means navigating two sets of expectations. For expatriates living in their birth country, the culture-shock can be different from the usual expat experience.

Locals think you’re “one of them”

Until you open your mouth. Then comes confusion, sometimes even frustration. “Why don’t you speak Vietnamese properly?” they ask. It hurts—but it’s also a wake-up call.

Westerners see you as different

You don’t fit the usual expat crowd. You’re not exploring Vietnam—you’re reclaiming it. Many expats move to Southeast Asia for cost-of-living advantages, retirement, or work, but for adoptees, it’s a return to their roots. From bank-account logistics to international health insurance and embassy registrations, the experience becomes even more layered. Price-index comparisons rarely capture the emotional cost of this journey. Whether you're migrating permanently or temporarily, emotional belonging remains a challenge. International schools, global mobility programs, and allowance packages may ease transitions for assignees and nomads, but identity remains deeply personal.

You’re always in between

Too Vietnamese for France. Too French for Vietnam. And yet, both identities live inside you. That tension is exhausting, but also deeply human. Cross-cultural identity is never simple, especially when you live abroad permanently or have lived in different countries. Repatriation can be just as emotionally complex as the move to another country. You may find yourself part of an expatriate community but still feel like an outsider. Internations groups and expat communities help, but they don’t replace a true sense of home. For many third culture kids, migrants, and people abroad, identity is fluid and shaped by transitions. Living in exile or as an absentee voter might add additional layers to the complexity.

Learning the Language of Your Childhood

Relearning Vietnamese has been one of the most emotional parts of my journey. Each word I master feels like a piece of myself being restored. But it’s not easy. Locals expect fluency. Mistakes bring judgment. Still, I persist—because each phrase brings me closer to me. For expatriates, learning the local language is essential, whether you're living and working abroad, managing taxation, filing a tax-return, navigating income exclusion or foreign earned income rules, or building self-concept in a new place. Adjusting to a new linguistic and cultural rhythm, even encountering rhyming slang or expressions unfamiliar, adds to the challenge.

Reconnecting with Family: Joy, Grief, and Healing

Meeting my biological family was a beautiful chaos. There were tears, silences, old photos, missed years. It didn’t answer everything. But it helped. And in that connection, I found healing—imperfect, but powerful. Going back home isn’t always easy, but it can be transformational. Many who move to another country in search of something often find more than they expect. New friends, a new home, and sometimes, a clearer sense of self. Spouses, nationals, and citizens living abroad often experience similar emotional reckonings. Transporting belongings, dealing with allowances, or understanding your right to vote abroad (ballot access) are just part of the bigger picture.

Final Thoughts: The Beauty of Being In Between

Being a Vietnamese adoptee living in Vietnam is not simple—but it’s real. It’s raw. It’s powerful. And it teaches you that identity isn’t a line. It’s a circle. One that always brings you home. To live in a foreign country as an adoptee is not just relocation—it’s a return, a journey toward belonging. Whether you're an American expat, a teacher abroad, a retiree, or someone who has lived overseas in many countries, the longing for home and identity never disappears.

Let’s Talk

Have you lived something similar? Are you an adoptee, an expat, or someone searching for your roots? Share your experience in the comments or message me via social media. Whether you're planning to go abroad, retire, rent a home, study abroad, relocate with global mobility, move to a new country, or settle in a foreign place—you’re not alone.